Baby Got Back


I took a week off, and something magical happened…

I felt like writing again.

For people who don’t write, or have never written, this will probably be a *shrugs shoulders* moment. But for others, it will resonate perfectly, and probably painfully.

It’s exactly two years since I last looked at this blog, or wrote anything meaningful, apart from thousands of snappy tweets of course!

I will admit to being just a little addicted; since I left facebook (wisely, it turns out!) twitter has become my morning coffee, my daily newspaper, my essential weekly catch-up with distant friends.

It both comforts, and alarms me at the same time. The fact that so much information, opinions, and raw humanity whizzes through that tiny screen minute by minute, with no end, both terrifies and enthralls me, and has totally captured my soul.

Twitter gave me Stockholm syndrome, and I liked it.

As I took a week off work, I also decided to take a week out from all social media. (Yeah right, I hear you scoff.)

It’s all just too energy-consuming and nonsensical, at a time when we are all time-poor anyway, and should (ha ha) know better. And yes, I have cheated. Yes, I have peeked a few times, and for this I proffer no fake shame nor self-loathing. I am human, and I am pathetically weak-willed.

I am the same as you.

But mostly, I have kept away, and it’s doing me good.










I am walking.

I am gardening.

I am baking.

I am child-wrangling.

I am dreaming.

and now, I’m writing…


Just please – don’t expect it to be any good!





The Rain


Dark is this night; the rain falls endlessly.

My heart feels the rain,

and the sound of the rain is in me.

It washes through my soul and ends up in my tears.


I am the rain. I cry like rain. I feel the rain.

I feel almost unbearable pain.


I hurt today,

I have hurt someone dear.

I have felt the fear,

and pushed through anyway.

To make a day, a better day,

a better way.


The mood of the rain,

heightens my longing for The One.

The one I love,

who I cannot be with.

Not yet, but soon…

Soon feels like an eternity.


So I gaze upon the rain,

into and through the cloudburst.

And take courage from the fact,

that it washes the hurt away; renews,

recharges our power,

so the sun may shine again.


And all our hearts shall be healed someday.

Scrolling for Answers


Scrolling for an answer, but I get no reply.

Fear and pain may be winning the game.
Everybody wants to be right.
They sneer, they snarl, they keyboard fight.

So many hard questions.
Too little answers.
The internet beast is feeding its young.

I cry, I rage, I turn away.
But I can’t stop scrolling, scrolling .
Through the mire of conflict, and all the voices.

Scrolling for answers to all of our questions.
Scrolling, scrolling, inhaling the insanity of it all

Cut the ties, free yourself.
Be blind and deaf and dumb if it helps.
The answers are staring you in the face.

If we join hands, is it too late?

Something is very wrong here.
All is not floating to the surface.
We are lambs being led to our bloody ruin.

Hate Hate Lies Hate.
Fear Fury Rage Isolate.
Darkness hiding behind a human face.

So I scroll, I cry, I fear our fate.
Scrolling for answers, before it’s too late.

The Photographs

Goth couple kissing on street, Washington DC - outside Roxy Club, near Dupont Circle early/mid 1990's

I saw some old photographs today
It took me back to then
That day we went to London
On the tube and on the train
I felt the same old feelings
Like a knife piercing my guts
As I remembered you are dead now
I’ll never again feel your touch
I realised that so many times
When I see a photograph
Of a street, a park, a train, a tube
I am searching for a glimpse of you
Just some fragment to hold on to
I don’t know why I think I’ll find
A moment undiscovered in time
A snapshot of a Love I lost
The unlived life you left behind
I have no Polaroid of you, my Love
No grinning pose, no Kodak Moment
Our Love was secret
It was forbidden
It was disapproved of
We had no time at all
I sometimes wonder if I grieve
The unending absence of you
or the gaping wound in me
Still I search each photograph I see
Scanning for a time capsule of you
Trying to remember
Grabbing at the past
Struggling to recapture
Your youthful swagger
Your secret smile
Your wit, your sweetness
Your smell was like home
Your confidence
Your way of seeing the world
The touch of your hands
Electric on my skin
My hold on you is slipping
But still I know your name
All that is left are memories
and you visit in my dreams
These will be my photographs
Precious shadows in black and white
Of a perfect boy and a perfect girl
Who were so right, but at the wrong time
One day, M.

I Am Element



I am the Earth. I bask in the generous warmth of the Sun.

I drink from the cooling Rain. I grow tall. I expand to my fullest,

and crumble into dust at the end.



I am the Air. I breathe in life-giving Oxygen, and exhale my thoughts and dreams.

My fragile layers of humanity are buffeted by the Wind,

and I bend and surrender to its will.



I am Fire. My body is all white heat, and my passions burn strong,

but one day they will recede into the smouldering embers of my regret.

Only the fire of Love, pure and eternal, burns still.



I am Water. Tears flow through me as a cascading river, cleansing my soul with its

outpouring of grief.

My pores leak with the sweat of my endeavours.

I wallow in the abundance of its promise.


I am the Elements.

You are the Elements.

We, the Universe, the Sun, the Stars, and the Moon,

are the Elements.


We are One.

Time to Roar

02 light warrior

To the bullies, the people who abuse and terrify, and subjugate the ones who love them.

When your victims are down and broken; soundlessly cowering in the corner;

blood and tears staining their existence.

When your anger has run its course, and your red mist dissolved.

Do you feel cleansed? Do you feel powerful, and proud? Are you really sorry?

Will you ever stop?


To the politicians, who lie and cheat, and trample on the dreams of the people,

When you reach your goal, when you make that dirty million,

When you betray the common man.

When you bury our heritage, and rape our lands of all their worth.

Will you feel good? Will you share your wealth with those it belongs to?

Can you look us in the eyes?

Can you say you did your best?


To the men of religion. How unbending and loveless you are.

Blinded by ancient, unyielding words, from another time.

Judging us all from your bejeweled elevation.

Forgiving humanity in the name of God.

Do you feel Holy? Who gave you that right?

The right to tell us how to live, and how to love.

Was it God himself? What did he say?

No really – I’d like to know.


To the Holy Warriors, who carry out atrocities in the name of their Gods.

Who flood the earth with innocent blood, young blood, the blood of their brothers.

Do you feel vindicated? Can you breathe, in the putridness of the air?

Is hate killing you slowly from the inside?

How do you KNOW you will be rewarded?

Is your blood of more value than ours?

Is selfishness a virtue to your God?

Is this love?


To the man and woman on the street. The ones who look the other way.

The ones afraid to stand up and roar.

Roar against the eclipse of evil creeping in.

Against the liars, the rapists, the bullies, the murderers, the torturers;

the Thieves of the Light.


We may be weak, we may be afraid.

But WE are many. And one by one, we can survive, we shall prevail.

If we can hold fast, learn to love more, and to forgive more.


Just one act of kindness at a time,

Can make all the difference to our children’s future world.

It’s time to Fight with Love.

It’s Time to Roar.